yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
