Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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