STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
