also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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