soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
