oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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