I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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