it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
