That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
