Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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