Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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