Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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