He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize