Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
