Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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