I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
