I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
