He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think my moral compass just broke
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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