the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am naked and annoyed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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