i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
