That's intense
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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