Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize