Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
