What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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