We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
