Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
birth control should be required to get into college
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
