people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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