Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
