He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
