omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize