The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize