OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize