whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
