We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
