Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
