Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
