we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
