living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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