My hand turned me down
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
