Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
