Where is the hickey?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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