How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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