Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
