Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
