It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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