this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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