1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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