I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I just shit out all my problems.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
