Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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