i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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