I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
