..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
