This girl is more easily done than said...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize