sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
