I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
