his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
