New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
