During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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